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Comic's Corner: The Donovan Goliath Takeover.

22nd May, 2015

Nobody puts Comic in Corner. Except us. We put Comic in Corner!

 

Make The Circle Bigger!

These days I really hate clubs. I can’t stand the crap music , the smoke and drunk people bumping into you. 

However I do love to people watch and do ‘research’. My favorite thing about the club is the dance circle.

The dance circle is an interesting phenomenon, it starts out of nowhere and is often triggered by a specific song.

There is always an instigator however who rounds people up as quickly as he/she can. Often this person’s reason for starting the circle is so that he/she can demonstrate their skills first. 

Once the circle is formed, they will jump in and for 12 or so seconds, perform like their lives depended on it!

It is then their job to slowly start roping people in to keep the circle going. It’s like a game of tag.

Ultimately what you want out of this experience is for people to clap, cheer and whistle at the one dance move you have chosen to display. This is your 12 seconds of fame. The circle will grow as the noise levels and energy pick up. ‘Dancers’ from other circles will more than often leave to join the biggest, most vibrant one.

You’ll see people slowly edge forward, waiting for their turn to jump in. 

There are no warm up’s here, you jump in and go straight for the killer move. Once you’ve completed your move and have been showered with cheers, you don’t just walk out, your signature dance move has to carry you out of the circle to maintain flow.

This thing is a science. Every circle will have a twerker, a grinder and a touch the floor kinda girl.

They often sneak in when a vulnerable guy is attempting to do his thing in the middle. She will grind up on him, shaking her booty like sprinkle pop box 'til he raises his hands like "WTF?".

A second girl normally jumps in at this point to trump the first girl. The male audience loves this kind of battle. 

If the circle is going really well and everyone has had a chance to display their moves, a mysterious guy will decide that the ante needs to be stepped up. 

He will place a full bottle of either beer or cider in the center of the circle and challenge anyone to dance around it without spilling. 

If you spill you die. 

It’s a beautiful but strange thing to watch.

White people often just stand there in disbelief. 

There is however always a drunk white girl who is brave enough to jump in and try this. Drunk white girls are my favorite except they have zero circle etiquette.

There is an unwritten law that everyone just obeys about timing In a circle. Somehow we all know and obey this rule. 

Not drunk white girls. 

You see when the crowd cheers at your bravery for going in the circle, its not a sign to carry on dancing. Have your moment and leave please.

Nobody likes a hogger, this is a battle and we all want a piece of the glory. 

We aren’t impressed by what you’re doing because most of the time it’s terrible. We’re just happy that you’re having fun. So please drunk white girl, please obey the rules of the circle. You’re allowed 12 seconds and the bottle in the centre is not to be kicked over. 

No circle is complete without a girl who believes she should’ve been cast in ‘You Got Served’. 

You’ll often see her trawl the different circles on the floor, jump in and kill everybody’s spirit with her professional Chris Brown moves. 

You can spot her a mile away. She’s either always wearing hip hop gear with Timberlands or a short dress with suede high heels with broken buckles. 

The shoes aren't straight because she walks funny so they're tilted at a slight angle. This gives her more leverage. 

She never just jumps in to a circle. She stands about a meter back and waits for the ‘best’ dancer in the circle to bust a move. That’s when she comes in, like an eagle to a field mouse.

She breaks out every dance move ever created, sweating profusely and swinging her Zimbabwean weave back and forth, almost slashing the neck of her opponent. 

She is the fun killer, the one responsible for breaking up circles. Everyone hates this person.

Don’t ever be this person. 

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