Couple Arrested For Selling Golden Tickets to Heaven.
Man claims Jesus gave him the tickets with instruction to sell them...
In #WTF news, a couple got arrested for selling tickets to the pearly gates!
Tito Watts said in his police statement: I don’t care what the police say. The tickets are solid gold… it ain’t cut up two by fours I spray painted gold.
And it was Jesus who give them to me behind the KFC and said to sell them so I could get me some money to go to outer space.
I met an alien named Stevie who said if I got the cash together he’d take me and my wife on his flying saucer to his planet that’s made entirely of crack cocaine.
You can smoke all the crack cocaine there you want… totally free.
So, try to send an innocent man to jail and see what happens.
You should arrest Jesus because he’s the one that gave me the golden tickets and said to sell them.
I’m willing to wear a wire and set Jesus up…
Amanda Watts said in her police statement: We just wanted to leave earth and go to space and smoke rock cocaine. I didn’t do nothing. Tito sold the golden tickets to heaven. I just watched.
Maybe they meant Jesus Cruz. Heaven could also be the name of a nightclub. Also, who on earth buys ANYTHING from a crack head? We rate the cops should hunt down the customers who purchased these tickets and have them sent in to jail with these two clowns.
Source: Mandy Williams
Copyright : Comedy Central